Beatification

As the Christmas season approaches, my family seems to be under attack. My dad has been having a lot of really random health issues, beginning in early summer. Now, he is starting to take anti-depressant medication tonight. He is now having anxiety attacks, and he’s feeling the empty nest syndrome. My mom also informed me that he really wishes he could get in touch with Chris, his son from his previous marriage. There has been a lot of conflict between my dad and Chris, and Chris just doesn’t want the relationship to get better.

My grandpa, who just had surgery on his legs the day after Thanksgiving, had to go to the ER, early Sunday morning. I’m not exactly sure why, but he had to go to Terre Haute on Tuesday to see a doctor. My grandma is stressed and worried and would like my mom to come down, but my mom is super busy and doesn’t think she’ll be able to make it down there. Today is my grandparents' anniversary. I hope they are able to have a great day.

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Last night was the first night of Church League Softball, and The Vineyard: Team C won the first game of our season! You should have seen us! Caleb and I had some great plays when I actually stopped the ball and threw it to first base. My pitching seemed to get better as the six innings moved along.

I felt like the umpire's strike range was fluctuating throughout the evening. However, I cheered for the other team's pitchers because I know how hard it can be to lob a ball over a plate. Believe me...it's harder than it seems.

To sum up the game, we won 17-7, partially thanks to an in-the-park homerun by yours truly. ;)

Apparently, the world has come undone. Yes, that is correct. I am officially attempting to sell a Nintendo DS LITE that I bought off of eBay about six months ago. I'm thinking $120 for my DS Lite with Rumble Pack (including the game: Animal Crossing).

To sum up: I'm trying to sell my DS Lite. Who wants to buy it?

Tonight was my first time playing basketball, seriously, in about 5 years. It was so awesome. Andrew Kamm, Gabe Thaman, Geoff Olmstead and I are preparing to take on the pastors. We're thinking about getting Gatanya on our team as the (Almost All Interns Team). We'd pretty much die on the court.

Andrew and I beat Gabe and Geoff the first time, and then they beat us the second game. I'm tired. I feel sick. We ran "suicides" to start off with. I think that was pretty much the worst idea ever. I couldn't breathe after that.

To summarize, I was surprised that I could keep up with them, until I started getting blisters on my feet. I'm thinking about seriously getting some basketball shoes to take down to Mexico, to put Fred in his place. ;)

I'm subbing in St Joe, again. This time, I'm with third graders. The boring part of this is that I have a student teacher who is doing everything. All I do is read and occasionally tell some boy in the back row to pay attention and stop throwing bits of eraser at other boy.

It's so cute! Some of the little girls will blush at me and smile, wanting my attention. And some of the boys will try to do something, such as throw eraser bits, to get my attention and then smile really big when I notice him. They are a really well-behaved bunch of kids. I appreciate the small town feel...minus the completely white population.

Father figures are lacking in our culture. Whether men don't think it is manly to be a nurturing father or whatever, it saddens me. I recognize some of these signs easily because I grew up with a father who did not know how to relate to me.

( Read more... )

Side note, I am hungry. I didn't eat breakfast today. If I am going some place out of the ordinary and I eat in the morning, my stomach will go all sorts of crazy on me. The benefit of subbing in St Joe is free lunch for subs!

People of all ages often feel that the angrier they get or sound in conversation/debate makes them seem more correct. I remember during a persuasive speech I gave at Parkland, I was very emotional about the topic and the way I attempted to persuade my classmates. At the end, my professor still gave me a horrible grade because it was an emotional speech, but it didn't do any persuading.

There's that.

I was surprised this morning when St Joseph Middle School called and wanted me to sub. I'm a little excited about this. I've been praying for extra money, and God is definitely providing me opportunities.

God, help me be like you in the classroom today.

Tomorrow marks the first day that I will sub in a classroom. It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. It's not one of those you can easily hide. I'm kind of excited to sub...other than the fact that I'm subbing Industrial Arts (Shop), which I never cared much for. My dad asked the regular teacher what'd we be doing, and I'm going to be watching the same film for 7 hours! ;)



This is a picture of my last day of Physics class, my senior year at PBL High School. My dad is the teacher. This was after much inner healing, allowing me to be more relaxed and open to the idea that people liked me.

I wish I would have changed before the second half of my senior year. I would have liked to be friendlier and not have been such a loner. There are times when I wonder what life would have been like if I would have been secure in my identity when I was in high school. I see some kids now, like my bud Caleb, who is miles ahead of where I was. I actually admire him and look up to him in these areas.

So there you go, Caleb. If you're reading this, I think very highly of you, and I love you. ;)

Dallas Willard's article Transformation of the Mind:

Clearly our thoughts are one of the most basic sources of our life. By "thoughts" we mean all of the ways in which we are conscious of things — and it includes our memories, perceptions and beliefs. Thoughts determine the orientation of everything we do and evoke the feelings that frame our world and motivate our actions. Interestingly, you can‘t evoke thoughts by feeling a certain way. However, we can evoke — and to some degree — control our feelings by directing our thoughts.

This selection stood out to me. It is one thing I am learning to do and practice. Instead of mindlessly allowing any thought or feeling to take over, I need to stop it. I need to bring it to Jesus. One of the things I'm learning by working through my impulsive nature is that just because I feel it doesn't mean it should be acted on. That's just excusing my immaturity.

Hope: a confident expectation
-Brian Harvey

I am attempting to grow my hair out to maximum length! What does that mean? I don't know...maybe as long as I can stand it. Here is what it looks like so far:



Hair
I grew weary of hair in my face, and so I pulled an old trick out of a bag. I bought a hair band, and I push it back. I actually like how it looks, but more importantly, I like how it feels. I also feel comfortable enough with myself to not feel attacked when multiples upon multiples of people either laugh or say something like..."You know, girls usually wear those..." Upon which I responded, "Oh my goodness! I didn't realize that! I'm so glad you told me!"

Don't get me wrong. I love those friends and am glad they are willing to speak the obvious to me, especially when I can't see the obvious.

Being someone who has a few insecurities of differing levels, it could be easy for me to become offended by these statements or allow Satan to make me feel even more foolish and stupid. But for some odd reason, I'm okay with looking like a fool. If anything, it shows how much other people care about what we're supposed to look like. Who knows... Maybe by wearing my hair in a hair band, I'm actually helping some little junior high kid with self-esteem issues, giving them someone to look to with strength in this area.

Depression
Since I stepped down from doing the internship, I have been attacked by spirits of depression. Not having a job right now only feeds that. As I start to see my life in God's eyes, the depression falls. I'm going to have the opportunity to get out of debt and save for a home by not taking the internship. I will be able to wait until I'm at a more mature stage in life before I begin it, allowing me to grow in God's timing and to prepare myself for what's to come.

Youth Ministries
I volunteer at church by leading a sixth grade boys youth group. Andrew and I have about 7 boys in our group, and they are average sixth graders. I was getting awfully worn out because I didn't feel like they were learning anything due to their high levels of energy. I just had to give it to God, and I realized that it is more important for me to be a male role model in their life, who loves God and accepts them where they are. Since that revelation, I have felt much less stressed out during our group. I also feel like I care for the boys more.

There are also fine lines that we must draw when it comes to leading other people's kids. One of the calls on my life is to minister and reach out to a wide diversity of people, which includes a community other than just young adults. I thrive when I'm mixed with people who are not only my age. I have the desire to nurture and be an older brother to some of the kids in the high school youth group because I didn't have a supportive father or brother at home. My intentions with these kids are pure and full of love, but people may not view it in that manner.

Parents may get upset that a 23 year old is getting a little too chummy with their children, when I feel like I can relate to them and their parents in a healthy way. Others may just happen to glance at one instance and assume that I have foul intentions with these teens. The teens themselves may start to have feelings for me due to the closeness of our friendship, which is something I don't want to put on their plate.

I'm a youth group leader, and that should come before me being a friend to them. I'm not at the same place in life they are, and I love that...but I'm supposed to not enjoy it. I'm just feeling beat up and worn out. Please keep me in your prayers as I transition into the next stage of life.

Psalms 37:34
Wait passionately for God, don't leave the path. He'll give you your place in the sun while you watch the wicked lose it.

Taking off of Kelley's goals for last year, I'm going to aim to read 50 books in one year. It'd be remarkable if I could actually read a book a week, so we'll see as the year goes on. So far I'm 1/3-3/4 through two books

Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend
Pursuing Sexual Wholeness: How Jesus Heals the Homosexual by Andrew Comiskey

So far, I feel like I'm learning a lot about the way my parents raised me and how I have accepted false belief systems. I have read 100 pages of Boundaries in the last two days. It's a good read.

Although Winter seems to be no where around, Chris Hanstad has chosen to dress up like it is Winter for the first edition of Cute Face Magazine in the new year. January and Chris Hanstad go together like two peas in a garbage disposal. That's why he has been voted most Cute Face of the Month!



Thanks be to God, amen.

The year of 2006 has been a good one. Here at Cute Face Magazine, toddlers were toddling around with news of what's to come. New Year's Eve is a special holiday where people forget who they are and who they came with, due to the high intake of fruit salad. This special edition of Cute Face Magazine shows the true Cute Face-ness of none other than Andrea Hunsinger! While her name may not be the longest name we've seen here at Cute Face...it sure is longer than 2006...



Thanks be to God, amen.

After recalling the first release of the December 2006 edition of Cute Face Magazine, the Editor in Chief has released a newer, fresher Cute Face. Since the Editor in Chief's birthday is in December, we decided to make a birthday cake-themed Cute Face, and who else would fit so perfectly into the birthday cake edition of Cute Face Magazine but Sarah Johnson. Known for her ability to exit most cars with ease and her skills with a plastic Christmas tree, Sarah Johnson reigns supreme when it comes to dressing up like an actual cupcake.



Thanks be to God, amen.

National Fruitcake Day is enjoyed in many a home, filled with horrible chefs and people lacking taste buds. Although this special issue's Cute Face is not from a home of poor cooks or tasteless scoundrels, he is fruity and cakey. That is why Caleb Johnson broke the age barrier holding Cute Face Magazine in the 15 and older crowd for months. Caleb Johnson, congratulations. You're a real man, now.



Thanks be to God, amen.

Many are unaware of what Boxing Day is. Those working day and night at Cute Face Magazine Headquarters are not in that group of people. We know about Boxing Day and how the great boxers such as Ali, Foreman, and Rocky are celebrated and remembered for their jabs, hooks, and never-ending sequels. The owners of Cute Face insisted that only the toughest boxer in the circle of friends surrounding them could be picked to be the Boxing Day Cute Face. That is why Ellen Benefield has been allowed to punch her way to the top of Cute Face Magazine.



Thanks be to God, amen.

Hark! The messenger angels sing of the Christmas Special Cute Face Magazine! They sing of how hard it was to elect one individual to grace the cover and be proclaimed the Christmas Cute Face; however, with much anticipation and neglect, the creators of Cute Face Magazine have finally approved of Alecia Osmond for this Holiday Hooplah! She even selected two of her favorite nativity set characters to pose with her.



Thanks be to God, amen.